Results on Cycle 5 with meds

BFN - Big Fat Negative. I cried today. The doctors only give you 6 rounds with Clomid. I just used up #2. So, I'm not sure how I feel. I want a baby, not just for me, but for our family. Derrick usually reads the results of the test. I know he hates telling me no. Now Liz has my cycles down and you can just see it in her face when I tell her " Not this month" I think that breaks my heart more than anything. Liz and me were talking about all this baby stuff and she asked me, "Why did God make us keep waiting?" It took everything in me not to cry. I gave her the answer I try so hard to believe myself. "That God wants us to have a baby, but when we wait for things it makes us love them more." "That there is some reason that don't make since right now, that we can't see right now, but in time it will be revealed. And one day she will hold her little brother or sister in her arms and will tell them the story how God answers prayers." " I reminded her how we waited for 5 years for Derrick to come into our life, and 9 years for him to be her official Daddy and how we love him so much more cause we waited and we know he was an answered prayer." So I will allow myself to be sad just one moment. Then I will only allow myself to think that one day I will hold my second child in my arms and tell them how God answered my prayers.